Top 5 memories that remind me of my parents and of growing up in small-town Kentucky

I’m sure there are many more glamorous places to celebrate Christmas than a little town in Kentucky, but I suspect the special memories of my holidays there pretty much match any that can be shared – actually, I suspect they exceed most others immeasurably.

I grew up in Hartford, Ky., a small town in the western part of the state, which boasts 2,000 people and that at the time, was the largest town in the county. Most Christmas traditions revolved around the church. Each domination had their own traditions – but at that time of the year, there was crossover in attending the different religious events – we were all just celebrating the most wonderful time of the year.   

The memories of these days are among my most vivid as a child, so here are the top five recollections that most remind me of my parents and of growing up in that special Midwestern corner of our great country.

1. We didn’t have a lot of money and neither did our extended family – especially my maternal grandparents Pop and Honey who lived next door to my parents when I was born. They were the only grandparents I knew since my Daddy’s Mom died when he was six and his Dad when I was a year old. Even though there wasn’t a lot of money for extra things, Honey always had what I refer to as that “old-time hard candy that has holiday designs that show all way through the pieces.” The candy was placed in small decorative bowls around their tiny house – and I thought it was magical. I wondered at the time how the candy was produced (and now thanks to the Food Network’s “Candy Unwrapped,” we can find out).

2. Food, of course, was a significant part of the holiday. From middle school on, we always went to Florida for Thanksgiving. In those days, fresh fruit didn’t travel as much within the states so having citrus in Kentucky at Christmas was a big deal. Each Thanksgiving before leaving Florida, my parents would stop at one of the roadside stands around Clermont and buy huge bags of grapefruit, navel oranges and tangelos (my Mommy’s favorite). With careful storage, these fruits would last well into the Christmas season and would end up being delivered to various friends and family. (Today, my order of Indian River Fruit Company’s grapefruit, navel oranges and tangelos arrived at our apartment – I can’t NOT order each year).

3. As I mentioned earlier, many of my Christmas memories revolve around our church. Growing up, that church was Hartford First Baptist. It’s hard to count all the memories that exist within that classic Baptist sanctuary: the beautiful Living Christmas tree with countless adults, young people and children singing classic holiday songs; our hand bell choir performing “Carol of the Bells” (Google if you haven’t seen a hand bell choir perform) and numerous other carols; and for me, the many Christmas mornings I played the organ for the service – the beautiful carols, preludes and offertories that celebrated the holiday season (note: I’d work for months perfecting the preludes and offertories). I still remember when I played a very simple version of “Away in a Manger” – literally the melody – as people filed out of the service. My Mommy cried.

4. Speaking of Pop and Honey, I also remember their cedar Christmas tree and the amazing lights and ornaments that dressed it each year. They had these amazing vintage bubbling lights that were just mesmerizing to me. I bought similar lights years later after Larry and I had our Christmas tree in Gainesville, but they were nowhere near as beautiful (plastic versus stunningly gorgeous glass lights). I also vividly remember the icicles hanging from the branches and the way the colored lights reflected on the silvery tinsel. As a child, I tried to be so patient in hanging each icicle individually instead of just throwing a handful on the tree. Not sure if I succeeded.

5. Another memory of mine is of going caroling (and visits from carolers). Yes, people actually went caroling in those days.  Sometimes we’d get a group together and go caroling in a neighborhood, but more often, we’d go to Ohio County Hospital or one of the nursing homes. In addition to singing, sometimes we’d take the aforementioned bell choir and play an amazing repertoire of Christmas music to the residents. As you can probably tell, Christmas music is buried deep within my soul.

Honestly for me, there isn't anything more special than Christmas in a small town. Maybe this post will make you think of those Christmas memories that are most special to you. Love from our Vettel family to yours.

Not all harassment is sexual. My story.

After a 30+ year career, I can honestly say I’ve worked in several jobs that were dominated by men: college athletics, economic development, lobbying. My takeaway: while I didn’t deal as much with sexual harassment, I did encounter an almost consistent effort to be undermined and belittled by the men I worked with because they perceived that my gender meant I also had a lack of industry knowledge. Interesting enough, it more often came from my peers than from my supervisors.

It was most prevalent during my years in sports administration – in the early years after Title IX was passed. As a young woman with an interest in sports, I’d worked for four years in Western Kentucky University’s Sports Information Office. I was the first woman to keep official statistics for the Hilltoppers’ men’s football and basketball teams. In those years, women’s sports were strictly club sports so those talented young women didn’t have the opportunity to compete on the intercollegiate level. We worked solely for Western’s men’s sports. Interestingly enough, I didn’t feel any discrimination in those years – it only happened after I entered the field full-time.

When I graduated from WKU, I was fortunate to have guy friends I had worked with (who looked at me as an equal) seeking opportunities for me. When a University of Florida Sports Information position that would work primarily for women sports opened, one of my friends who was at Iowa State at the time recommended me for the job. Coming from what was then a Division I-AA university, working at an SEC school was an amazing opportunity. I was so excited when I got the job and moved to Gainesville.

While I was solely responsible for the women’s teams – basketball; gymnastics; slow-pitch softball; cross country, indoor and outdoor track and field; tennis; and golf – I also worked men’s football and basketball, and handled both the men’s and women’s swimming and diving teams. Needless to say, in an office of four full-time professionals (including our administrative assistant), we usually worked 70 to 80 hours a week.

I had a great boss – Norm Carlson – who really supported me as a young woman in a male-dominated world. He pushed me to improve my writing and have more confidence in working with coaches and administrators. My bigger issues were with my peers – young men either early in their careers as sports reporters and administrators or finishing their journalism degrees while working as stringers for the major newspapers in the state. They did their best to make me feel I didn’t belong.

One of my most vivid memories was the time a group of them came to me asking me to rank – one through nine – the difficulty of the major league baseball positions. While I’d worked hard to learn about sports (especially given that no one in my family had any interest), baseball wasn’t a sport I’d worked on at Western or had had the opportunity to learn as a child. I remember trying to come up with my list – and upon turning it in to these guys, listening as they made fun of my selections. Didn’t I know how difficult it was being a catcher? Or a shortstop, third baseman or center fielder?  It was humiliating.

Did I understand it at the time? I don’t think so. I was just working so hard to fit in and do the best I could at the job. For those young women like me who were hired in collegiate sports in the early ‘80s, there were no rules, no “this is how it’s done.”

Do I think these guys deliberately set out to humiliate me? I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. I think they weren’t sure what to do with young women entering their historically men-only world. Many of them became friends in later years – sadly, I have never told them how they made me feel.  I do hope that if they think about it now – given the climate we’re seeing today (including multiple sports figures being accused of harassing women) – that maybe they’ll recognize their role in the early years of women entering the field. It saddens me to hear today’s stories of women in sports and the fact that so little has changed, but I’m hopeful that maybe what’s happening today will finally change the sports landscape.