Remembering 9/11 and my Daddy, Part I

Twenty-five years ago, our nation - and my family - lived through the worst time in our lives. Even all these years later, it sometimes feels like it couldn’t possibly have happened - that it must have been a dream, or looking back now, a nightmare. Several years later, I wrote a blog post about our experience.  You can find it here. Now, I’d like to share a little more of the background, or as Paul Harvey used to say, “the rest of the story.” Today I’m posting Part I which takes us through Daddy’s funeral on Monday; look for Part II on Friday.

On this date 25 years ago (Friday, Sept. 7), I landed at the Gainesville Regional Airport after leaving Washington, D.C., where I’d spent most of the summer lobbying on behalf of Regeneration Technologies, an Alachua, Fla.-based company that along with the rest of the human tissue industry was being investigated by Congress and the FDA. 

When I pulled up the voice mails on my cell phone that morning, there was a message from Brother Glenn Armstrong telling me my Daddy had died that morning in Hartford, Ky. After leaving me that voice mail, he next called Larry who desperately tried to get to the airport before I retrieved the message. Alas, he arrived at the airport after I had left and I drove home knowing my Daddy was gone. I called Larry, crying, from my car saying “My Daddy died.”

Three days later after gathering family and friends in Kentucky, we held my Daddy’s funeral at Beaver Dam Baptist Church where hundreds of friends and family gathered to honor him. He was beloved in Ohio County, which was evidenced when the day before more than 700 people visited the funeral home, signing the book. We were there for more than nine hours. He had taught hundreds of people to waterski over the years and had been a godsend to young people, talking with them while they played basketball and walked the track at Beaver Dam Baptist’s CAC. 

Larry grew up in the Bronx and never really understood Kentucky, but he tried and grew to absolutely adore my parents. He took me to New York City in October 1981 shortly after we married in August. I had never been to a big city - let alone NYC - but he wanted me to visit “his city.” Even though Larry’s Mom had moved him and his siblings to Florida when he was in middle school, he remained a New Yorker. I fell in love with the city immediately. You have to understand that NYC in 1981 was about the time that the city reached rock bottom, and yet, I loved everything about it. The dirt and trash, the bums (what the homeless were called in those days), the topless clubs, and the electronic stores on every block (which were probably selling mostly stolen goods).

After that first visit, we went back year after year and then introduced the girls to New York’s magic when they were five- and eight-years-old. By the time they were in their early teens, they knew how to maneuver the NYC subways; explain the differences between the UWS and UES, Jersey, The Bronx, and Queens; and responsibly hail a cab.

In June of 2001, we did our usual NYC trip shortly after school was out and the Gators’ sports season had finished. That year, the trip was part of Daddypalloza week which happened when Father’s Day and Larry’s birthday occurred during the same week. On Father’s Day the four of us had brunch at Windows on the World, the restaurant at the top of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. That Sunday morning’s weather wasn’t what we’d hoped for - it was a dreary, cloudy day where the clouds were hovering below us as we sat at our window table looking out on the city. Our daughter, Jenni, asked Larry how the airplanes knew how to fly without hitting the towers when it was cloudy and foggy, and he explained how radar and flight patterns worked. Looking back, it was a bit eerie that we had that conversation. And, of course, we took in a Yankees game, always a staple on our NYC trips. After our vacation, we went back to Gainesville for the summer to prepare for Dana’s junior year at Gainesville High where she was starting as one of the drum majors for the band, and Jenni’s seventh grade year at Howard Bishop Middle School.

As we started September, the fall was progressing nicely. The girls settled into school and football season started on Saturday, Sept. 1 with the Gators beating Marshall 49-14 in the opening game. I was still having to spend most weeks in Washington, D.C., working for RTI, but we were making progress on the company’s issues. So, as usual, I headed to D.C. on Sunday after the Marshall game. It was a positive week and that Thursday afternoon before flying home on Friday, we had a break and I went and sat in Lafayette Park across from the White House. It was a beautiful, cool September day and I stayed there for an hour, just soaking in the moment. It would be the last time I was in D.C. for months. 

After learning that Daddy had died that Friday morning, the girls and I flew to Nashville on Saturday, but Larry stayed in Gainesville to work the Louisiana-Monroe game. He flew to Nashville on Sunday, and arrived shortly before we headed to the funeral home for the visitation. After Daddy’s funeral on Monday, Larry and the girls headed to Nashville to fly back to Gainesville at 6 a.m. on Tuesday morning. 9/11. I had a car that I had rented in Nashville and my brother and I were going to stay for a few days to help Mommy.

Part II coming Friday, Sept. 11.

I miss writing so let's get this going again - Take 2

I started this blog back in 2015 when Larry and I made the crazy decision to sell pretty much everything we’d ever owned and move from our 2,200-square-feet suburban house in Gainesville to a 572-square-feet apartment on the Upper West Side of New York City (go back and read some of the earliest posts. It’s really funny to read about our first adventurous months).

I’ve been writing off and on ever since - although, honestly, the last five years have been more off than on. So, I’m dusting off my writing skills and seeing if I can get this thing going again. Let me know what you think! 

I’ve done a bit of a refresh on the blog and christened a new name. After returning to Kentucky last year, Harry Chapin’s “All My Life’s a Circle” seemed appropriate for a new title.

Larry and I moved to Lexington a little more than a year ago after spending eight years in NYC and two years in Portsmouth, NH. Honestly, we loved the Northeast and if it hadn’t become so prohibitively expensive, we’d have stayed. We were fortunate in both cities to live downtown which was what we loved about cities, although other than being walkable, NYC and Portsmouth had little in common! 

Our apartment in Lexington is beautiful, but it’s anything but walkable. The complex itself is beautiful with sidewalks and plenty of trees and luscious lawns, but its sidewalks don’t lead to any stores or restaurants. The city is nicely laid out and pretty easy to get around. It has one highway that completely encircles the city (something Gainesville never figured out how to accomplish) and another highway that goes about halfway around. So it’s easy to drive around without being caught in an east/west-north/south gridlock. It’s about twice the size of Gainesville/Alachua County so it offers a lot better shopping and restaurant options, although it doesn’t hold a candle to NYC (shopping and restaurants obviously) or Portsmouth (restaurants). It’s also got great healthcare offerings, unlike Portsmouth which was a medical desert. 

The girls are both good. Dana and her husband live in Rome and are expecting in December - our first grandchild! We’ve rented an apartment for 10 weeks and will be there to celebrate (and help). It will be good to see how it goes living in Rome (a city that’s also walkable) in case we decide to go more often after the baby arrives. Jenni’s working in Gaza as a water, sanitation, and hygiene expert for UNICEF. It’s very difficult, but important, work. She’s hoping to be in Rome for a few weeks while we’re there - so she can see her sweet Pomeranian pup Stella (and, of course, the new baby)!

Let me know what you think of the refreshed blog, and be on the look out next week as I go back 25 years and reminisce about the death of my Daddy and 9/11. 

Remembering the Original Florida

While I lived in Florida for more than 36 years beginning in 1979, my first memories of the Sunshine State began as a teenager in the early to mid 1970s. 

These memories are rooted in a Florida that – for many reasons – no longer exists. Places like the Neptune Inn, an old-timey motel located on one of the most beautiful white sand beaches in Fort Myers Beach, that featured kitchenettes, shuffleboard courts, and the ability to dig sand dollars with your toes in the warm Gulf waters; the Kapok Inn, a kitschy restaurant in Clearwater that featured exotic gardens, fountains, and mediocre food at best; Lum’s, a family restaurant chain with beer-soaked hot dogs; and the original Cypress Gardens, where twenty-something young women in Southern Belle dresses floated around the gardens welcoming visitors, while athletic water-skiers climbed on each other’s shoulders to build pyramids on the cypress tree-lined, alligator-infested lakes.

My Dad had no childhood. His mother died when he was six. He and his two brothers lived with his dad in rural Kentucky in a house with no electricity, running water or plumbing. My Dad had never been anywhere until World War II called, then he spent more than two years traversing Europe as part of the Greatest Generation. In the late 1960s, he and my Mom took their first vacation, after my Mom won a five-day “all-expenses paid trip to Miami sponsored by the local grocery,” and my Dad was hooked on the state. Florida became a magical place for him – and my Mom and I spent the next 10+ years along for the ride. 

To appreciate these early days in Florida, you must understand what the state was like before Disney, Universal, Busch Gardens and Sea World. Those were the days of Silver Springs, Cypress Gardens, and the Citrus Tower; of hundreds and hundreds of acres of orange groves in Clermont and other Central Florida towns that stretched farther than your eyes could see; and of white sand beaches that extended for miles from Clearwater and Treasure Island to Sarasota and Siesta Key to Fort Myers Beach and Naples.

Polynesian Village

My first visit to Florida was in Thanksgiving 1971, when we went to Disney World just six weeks after it opened. Those were the early days of the Disney ticket book, where “E” tickets that allowed you to jump on the best rides were priceless. The park wasn’t quite finished in those early months, and upon checking into the Polynesian Village (where we always stayed), some families in our group discovered that not all the hotel rooms’ locks had been installed. LOL. Of course, those were the days when rooms went for $25 a night. 

After spending a few days at Disney World, our group of families headed to the Neptune Inn at Fort Myers Beach. All of us kids ran, swam, and explored what was truly nothing more at that time than a small town on a beach. Few restaurants, beautiful sunsets, peace.

Neptune Inn - Fort Myers Beach

For the next nine years while I was in high school and college, when Thanksgiving came around, I was in the car with my Mom and Dad on the way to Florida. Some years, we’d go to Disney World (we’d ALWAYS start at Disney) and then head to the Neptune Inn in Fort Myers Beach. Other years after we’d had our fill of the Magic Kingdom (remember, in those early years the other Disney parks had not yet opened), we’d head to Treasure Island which was west of Tampa. No matter where we headed, the visits were always the same. We’d walk the beaches for hours and hours, looking for shells and hoping not to burn; eat average food at best; rest; but mostly bask in the joy of just being together. 

What, you wonder, has happened to these places since?

• Disney has, of course, exploded its footprint over the years and while it’s still a special place for many to visit, it’s unrecognizable from the original Magic Kingdom where Peter Pan, Small World, Haunted Mansion, the Crystal Palace restaurant, Country Bear Jamboree, and the Jungle Cruise were the quaint star attractions. 
• Cypress Gardens closed in 2009, but part of the park has been absorbed into LEGOLAND. Thankfully, Silver Springs is now part of the Florida State Park system and is easy to visit, and while the citrus groves have all but disappeared, you can still tour the Citrus Tower and see the beautiful lakes that dot the Central Florida landscape. 
• In 2022, Hurricane Ian pretty much took out Fort Myers Beach and destroyed the Neptune Inn, ending its time as a small, local motel. A developer is building a larger hotel on the site. Hurricane Milton recently took a second swipe at Fort Myers Beach with reports saying many locals are considering leaving the island. 
• The Kapok Tree Restaurant in Clearwater closed in the early 1990s, while Lum’s, which was founded in Miami Beach in 1956, closed in 1982. 
• And finally, Hurricane Milton also smacked Treasure Island and St. Pete Beach earlier this month, destroying many of their businesses and infrastructures; and doing a number on their beautiful white sand beaches.

While I know from my research that hurricanes and storms hit Florida during the idyllic years that form my early memories, Florida was different then. There were fewer people living along the coasts, climate change hadn’t made the storms that hit as intense as we see today, and the limited communications of the time didn’t share the impacts as far and wide. Still, every time I see today's storms hit Florida – especially impacting the places that hold such a special place in my heart – it makes me reflect more on what’s been lost from the state’s early years. May the people attempting to pick up the pieces of their lives from these most recent impacts find peace. And, may we also remember what made these places in Florida so special to those of us who visited them over the past decades. 

Fun Food Saturdays!!

When football season rolls around, we start planning for Fun Food Saturdays. It’s a tradition that goes back to our years in Gainesville – we have wonderful dishes we rotate throughout every fall. One week it might be French Onion Quiches and Caprase, or Pigs in a Blanket and Three Cheese Fondue with all kinds of dippers, or Swedish Meatballs and Chicken Pesto Crostinos. You get it. It is so fun to work our way through all the dozens of options each fall, finding the best dishes that match the weather (i.e., you can’t have Swedish Meatballs if the weather is too hot or Caprese if the tomatoes are out of season!). 

It kind of takes me back to our fall Saturdays in Gainesville when we would host a big party at the house around a Gator road game – and where I’d make all the food and Larry would oversee the bar. I’d like to think it was an invitation a lot of people looked forward to receiving – there would be a mix of really cool people – politicians (city and county commissioners, state attorneys’ folks, state senators), UF people (athletics and others throughout the university), local business people, and our close neighbors. Still remember the year I made gazpacho and had small plastic cups and spoons, but everyone thought it was salsa without the chips – lol). Still, I loved making all the dishes and welcoming dozens of friends and colleagues to enjoy the game and good food. Here are a few of the great dishes.

French Onion Quiches

15-oz. Package Pillsbury All-ready Pie Crusts (will be two crusts in the package)

Filling:

¼ c. margarine or butter (1/2 stick)

1 ½ cups finely chopped onions

1 tablespoon flour

1 cup half-and-half

3 eggs, slightly beaten

½ teasoon salt

1/8 teaspoon pepper

grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Remove pie crusts from box.  Let stand at room temperature 15-20 minutes while preparing filling.

In medium saucepan, melt margarine on medium heat.  Saute onion until light golden brown (5-7 minutes).  Remove from heat.  Stir in flour until mixed.  Add half-and-half, eggs, sat and pepper.  Blend well.

Unfold pie crusts and using glass or some other circle, cut circles (approximately 12-15 per pie crust sheet.  Note:  Measure across a single muffin cup and have a circle slightly larger than that circle).  Press each circle into ungreased miniature muffin cup.  Fill about 2/3 full with filling.  Sprinkle about a teaspoon of the grated parmesan on each muffin.

Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes (if it starts to get too brown, loosely cover with aluminum foil).  Cool slightly in muffin tin.  Then remove.  Serve warm.

Should make about 24-30 appetizers.

Chicken Crostinis

1 rotisserie chicken of your liking

1-2 baguettes (depending on how many people you want to serve – there will be plenty of chicken for 2 baguettes – if that’s the case can make one batch early and another later in the party)
Prepared pesto
One of the shredded cheese mixes (Mexican or Italian (don’t get one with spices).

Take roasted chicken and remove meat and shred (use your fingers, it’s a lot faster). If doing ahead of time, store in Tupperware container until serving.  Bring to room temperature before assembling crostinis. 

Take baguettes and slice on a diagonal (also can be done ahead and stored at room temperature in Ziploc bag.  Spread pesto on each baguette, top with chicken and sprinkle with cheese.  Heat on a cookie sheet in the oven at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes or until cheese is melted.  Watch to make certain they don’t burn.

Classic Swiss Three Cheese Fondue

1 garlic clove, peeled

1 cup dry white wine

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

8 ounces Gruyere cheese, rind trimmed and discarded, and shredded (about 2 1/2 cups)

8 ounces Emmentaler cheese, rind trimmed and discarded, and shredded (about 2 1/2 cups)

3 ounces Appenzeller cheese, cut into cubes (about 1/2 cup)

4 teaspoons cornstarch

1 tablespoon kirsch

A few gratings of fresh nutmeg

Freshly ground pepper, to taste

What to dip: crusty mixed grain bread, French or Italian bread, cut into bite-sized cubes (leave a piece of crust on each cube); Cooked chicken breast, skin and bone removed, cut into bite-sized cubes; cooked garlic sausage or knockwurst, cut into bite-sized wedges; boiled new potatoes; asparagus spears, broccoli florets or cauliflower florets prepared for dipping.

Rub the inside of a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan with the garlic; discard the garlic. Add the wine and lemon juice and bring to a bare simmer over medium heat.z

In a medium bowl, toss the Gruyere, Emmentaler, and Appenzeller cheeses with the cornstarch. A handful at a time, stir the cheese mixture into the wine, stirring the first batch until it is almost completely melted before adding another. The fondue can bubble gently, but do not boil. Stir in the kirsch and season with the nutmeg and pepper.

Transfer to a cheese fondue pot and keep warm over a fondue burner. Serve immediately with dipping ingredients

 

Summer doldrums cooking

I’m sure a lot of people enter August with summer doldrums where you absolutely don’t want to cook anything because it’s hot, you’re bored with pretty much everything you usually make when it’s this warm, and you’ve made enough summer dinner salads and gazpachos. I’ve been there for several weeks.

So, this weekend I decided to do something about that. For me, that means tackling something – or two somethings – that I’ve never made before.

The first thing I worked on this weekend is recreating my Mommy’s amazing peach ice cream. I grew up with her hand-cranking an old-fashioned ice cream maker with the ice and rock salt – what a mess - and decided that was way too much like work for me. I broke down a couple of months ago and got a tabletop Cuisinart ice cream maker and set out to see if I could recreate her amazing ice cream concoctions. I’ve gone slowly – starting with the New York Times’ “master ice cream recipe” which gives so many options to add different ingredients to make different versions. I started with French vanilla (the second time I added Heath toffee bits – omg, so good) and strawberry. 

Today, I decided to try to make Mommy’s best: peach ice cream. The NY Times recipe is delicious – it makes twice as much as my Cuisinart can make in one serving – so tomorrow I’ll have to freeze the rest! It calls to cook the peaches and then puree. I think next time I’ll keep some of the peaches in small pieces and not puree all of them. Still delicious – and will keep working on making the recipe mine!

My second recipe for this weekend was something I’ve never tried in all my years of cooking: focaccia. Kneading and using yeast absolutely terrify me – so I found a Bon Appetit recipe for No-Knead Focaccia. 

I started the dough yesterday – and this morning took it out of the fridge to rise. It worked!! It was a super easy recipe for someone who’s never tried anything like it. It was a huge success. 

We ate some, kept a few pieces back for tomorrow, and froze the rest. I kept it simple and didn’t add any herbs – but now that I know I can do it, there are so many options I can try next time!

It was fun to take a weekend when I’ve been so OVER cooking and try a couple of new things. Looking forward to fall – my favorite time of the year to cook! I have a ham bone in the freezer just waiting for cooked beans with ham!

 

I miss writing so let's get this going again

I've been thinking recently that I really miss writing for fun. I write everyday for my job at Barnard College, but I realize I have so much to write about - not only what's happening in our lives today, but also about the original point of this blog - how we got to where we are today and where we're going next. So, I'm going to start up this blog again. I have a lot to say.

I've been thinking a lot about cooking recently and how proud I am that over the years I've taught myself to make a variety of dishes including Bolognese with Pici, Chinese Cashew Shrimp and Chicken, Branzino Picatta, and a seriously-seared, medium rare Filet Mignon with Scalloped Asiago Potatoes.

But my cooking roots are a lot different. I learned to cook when I was 13, because my Mommy started nursing school after earning her GED, and my Dad, who was a coal miner in Western Kentucky and worked the 3-11 shift, needed a substantial lunch for his main meal before leaving for work (the leftovers would be put into a thermos for him to eat for dinner). We didn't have a lot of money, so the meals I prepared didn't cost a lot - a can of salmon made into salmon patties, ground beef made into a meat loaf, fried Spam, fried chicken.

The sides - which I also learned to make and time to be done at the same time as the entree - were from our garden: boiled potatoes cooked in a pressure cooker, green beans, gorgeous tomatoes, sweet corn to die for, butter beans. You get it. In teaching me, my Mom at first would prep the meals so that all I had to do was cook the entree and sides. Then, the next time that I'd make that entree, she'd do one less step and give me directions for how to do that step before cooking, and then, over time, I did all the prep for each dish before cooking. It was such an easy way to learn.

When I'm missing my Dad and Mom, who've been gone 21 and eight years respectively, I make salmon patties (which I did tonight). I make one of my favorite sides (today it was Three Cheese Cauliflower) instead of boiled potatoes, and think of those years learning to cook in a little Kentucky kitchen.

Best recipe to make when you need comfort food on the table in 20 minutes

So one of the cool things about today's grocery stores is the huge amount of frozen ethnic foods available to the everyday chef. One of my new go-to meals when I'm absolutely exhausted and want to make something nutritious and delicious that will literally be on the table in 20 minutes (not even Rachel Ray's 30 minutes - lol) - is Dumpling Egg Drop Soup.

Here's how to do it. Find your favorite frozen dumplings in the frozen food aisle (if you want to make this in 20 minutes make sure the package says pre-cooked dumplings - if you can only find dumplings that say Cook & Serve, cook the uncooked dumplings ahead of time and add them at the end).  This is better than pretty much ANYTHING you can order for pick-up or delivery - and it's comfort food at its finest! Enjoy! Also makes great leftovers.

Dumpling Egg Drop Soup

5 cups chicken broth

3 tablespoons cornstarch mixed with 6 tablespoons water

2-3 scallions, sliced

2-3 eggs, beaten (depending on how eggy you like it)

8-10 pre-cooked dumplings (your favorite - ours are the pork & shrimp, but there are many different versions)

Heat the chicken broth and once simmering, add in the cornstarch mixed with the water and stir until the broth thickens slightly. Add the scallions and simmer for 2-3 minutes. Then add the frozen pre-cooked dumplings and bring to a small boil and simmer for 3 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and slowly add in the beaten eggs. Wait 30 seconds and then gently stir. Serve!